How Long Will She Live?

It scares me
The monster that lives inside
It worries me
The test results coming up

The fear eats inside of me
Wondering if she will be here when i wake up
Going through my mind over and over
Did I do enough?

I see her just lying there
So helpless and alone
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking
How long will she live?

I try so very hard
Not to let a tear come out
Because I can't let her see
The true pain she causes me

So I take a deep breath
And put on a fake smile
Because I have to be strong
Or I will surely crumble

The fear eats inside of me
Wondering if she will be here when I wake up
Going through my ming over and over
Did I do enough?

And so I sit here watching her die
When all I can think is why
But I come up short
No answers at all
For why God chose my mom to fall

I see her just lying there
So helpless and in pain
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking
How long will she live