Dear Boy,

04.19.10 Time:7:42pm

Dear Boy,
Why are you so stupid and confusing? Do you enjoy playing games and hurting girls? Why can't you just be ther guy I met? What happened to that sweet, funny and shy guy I met that late spring night? This persona you want people to percieve is hurtful. This uncaring and distant person causes my heart to ache. I know you're playing me, but why can't you let me change your mind? Sometimes having a relationship can entail more than just sex. You can talk and actually enjoy each others company. You can hold hands and kiss, and leave it at that. Why are you contradicting everything I've been taught? Why can't you like me for me and want to be with me for me, not my body? I don't want a physical relationship. Why are you pressuring me to do things I don't want to do? Well I do, I just don't want to deal with the consequences afterwards. Boy, I actually like you, well I did, until you started with the 'player' behaviour. Did you know that me saying 'no' was one of the hardest things I've done and to have to continue to pressure and than change your ways toward me hurt immensely. I could've said yes. I could've fed into my raging hormones and pleased you. But I said no because I thought you'd respect me. I didn't want to be just another name to add to the list, just another number to talk about. Why don't you want a relationship? Why am I never enough? Why do you get pleasure out of another's pain? Do you enjoy using girls and throwing them away? I don't get you, Boy. I do all the right things, I say everything you want to hear, but still that is not enough. I am not enough. Why do you want to hurt me and let me hurt myself? Boy, I'm not stupid, I know the games you play. But I put up with it because I want you to be different. I want you to be the boy I met and the boy I know you can be. How can you go from one person to another so quickly? Boy, are you afraid? Afraid to get hurt? Have you been hurt before? Well, if you have I promise I won't hurt you. I've been hurt enough times to know not to do it to another. But you need to let me in. To let me show you I won;t hurt you. That I am different. Boy, I've been left by everyone I have ever loved, on way or another. That is why I won't leave without a fight. Please Boy, give me a chance to show you that I am different. Please let me in because i promise to you I'll be gentle. Please let me show you what you can be. Please, Boy.

Love,
An Everyday Girl