They Are All The Same.

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS like a bitch I would know

And you over-think and
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You don't really want to stay, no
But you don't really want to go

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery

We used to laugh about nothing
But now your plain boring
I should know you're not gonna change

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get it off this ride

~A Katy Perry Song (lyrics describe boys so well)

Realization

Until its far too late,
You realize that you lost.
You realize that you comprised your beliefs for what?
A few moments of complete happiness and lust.

You realize you gave them what they wanted,
And got nothing in return.
You realize they won,
And now- you're alone which nothing but regrets

All for what?
A couple of sensual moments.
A couple of heated nights,
Caught up in hormones and fervor.

Was it worth it?
You'd like to say no,
But the memories are telling you yes.
You'd like to deny it, but that'd just be lies

The way they kissed you so gently,
And held you when you were cold.
For a moment they made you think they cared,
For a moment they made you feel on top of the world

But now all their friends know.
They know what you did.
What happened between the two of you,
And you have to deal with it now by yourself.

The realization is eye opening.
But painful and lonesome
You can't tell anyone what you did
For they wouldn't understand-judge you all the same

Until its far too late,
You realize that you lost.
You realize that you comprised your beliefs for what?
A few moments of complete happiness and lust.

Let's Be Real

I, AnEveryDayGirl, lost my mother to breast cancer November 28th, 2008. Basically, what people do not understand is when a single parent dies you do not just loose a parent, you loose the life you lived. I left my small little town of Waterloo, all my friends, my boyfriend, my school, my house, my community, to integrate to the big city of Toronto where i got lost. I'm not going to get into much about my life, but a year and a half later I continue to deal with the affects of losing my mother. It was just the two of us. She was my life. She is my role model. I watched her fight a strong battle against a vigorous disease, which sadly got the best of her and of me. It stole three and a half years of my childhood. I know I should be angry at the disease but I'm not. I'm mad at my mother. I'm mad for her leaving me to journey through life alone. For not taking care of me. For forcing me to grow up so quickly. I know it's not her fault, but she wasn't hear for the most important parts of my life. She never gets to see me grow up. I have to now go through life without my mother and she doesn't even contact or give me a sign that she watches over me. My mom was my everything. She taught me so many valuable lessons which I'll carry on with me for the rest of my life, but that's all I'll have. Her lessons, her wishes for me, my memories of her. Life's not the same anymore. I live in a new city, with new friends, a new family, a new school. I live a life now where I have no remainders of a life i lived for 13 years. Everyday i wonder what my life would be like if she lived. I wonder who'd i be given the chance. Where I'd be in life right now, if she was still in my life. Though, without watching my mom die I'd never have achieved the inner strength I have to achieve greatness. To make something of myself. Of my life.

A quote from my mother, Denise Ducharme:
"Remember, who cares what the colour of the bridge is. Just enjoy the journey and I'll see you on the other side."
-Denise Ann Ducharme

Life.

"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"
-Unknown

"In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure"
-Heart Warrior Chosa

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through that horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'"
-Eleanor Roosevelt

The Aftermath

Tears streaming down my face
Memories flowing through my mind
So many days, hours, minutes
Spent with you

I remember when we kissed
Your lip imprint still on mine
The smiles on your face
Put there from something i said
The way our gazes locked
An intensity undeniable

But i remember the goodbye
You changed your mind
I wasn't good enough for you

You asked me to forget
All the kisses
To forget all the smiles
Everything exchanged
Between the "us"
I agreed to let go

But deep down
I thought to myself
I will be waiting for you
This is simply the aftermath

Forever

You told me forever
That i was the one
You told me you loved me
And alone i'd never be

But here i am
Heartbroken and confused
You never gave gave me an answer
For why i wasn't good enough for you

You've hurt me countless times
Left my heart black and blue
You just ran away
Without giving me a clue

You've called me names
And left me in such pain
You blamed me for it all
As you went on to lie you life and let me fall

And you still don't see
That you didn't even deserve me
I let you turn away as i cried
Just like i put up with all the lies

I chose to deny
That there were all those other girls
And that you were their guy
Simply because i loved you enough to compromise

You told me forever
But that never was
You told me you loved me
But in the end i just wasn't enough

How Long Will She Live?

It scares me
The monster that lives inside
It worries me
The test results coming up

The fear eats inside of me
Wondering if she will be here when i wake up
Going through my mind over and over
Did I do enough?

I see her just lying there
So helpless and alone
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking
How long will she live?

I try so very hard
Not to let a tear come out
Because I can't let her see
The true pain she causes me

So I take a deep breath
And put on a fake smile
Because I have to be strong
Or I will surely crumble

The fear eats inside of me
Wondering if she will be here when I wake up
Going through my ming over and over
Did I do enough?

And so I sit here watching her die
When all I can think is why
But I come up short
No answers at all
For why God chose my mom to fall

I see her just lying there
So helpless and in pain
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking
How long will she live